I’m not sure about death. Aging and bodies ceasing to breathe–yes. That’s pretty impossible to argue or question. But death–a true end? I’m not so sure.
When she was breathing, my grandma Dorothy could be counted on for a few things:
- Pringles, Grape Shasta, and angel food cake in her pantry
- Predawn coffee and conversation
- Silently, patiently listening to any grandchild, daughter, or friend complain and rant for as long as they needed, and then answering “Tough!”
- stopping everything for a good sunrise or sunset.
Supposedly, she died 12 years ago.
These days, I rise before dawn and start my days with coffee and spiritual practice. Sometimes that practice is a conversation between myself, Dorothy, and Emmett, my dad’s dad. When my day allows it, I’ll move from meditation onto a walk around the neighborhood. I meander, sensing and following a pull left, right, or forward at every intersection. I pause to answer bird calls, to gaze at the clouds as they shift colors, and to greet ducks and deer as they pass by.
My grandmother feels present through all of this. And, it feels like a holy blessing. It’s evocative the same way friends rush to mind when a special song comes on Pandora or when I open and smell a whiskey that we have shared.
My good friend David recently lost his father. I saw him today, and I learned that he’s nearing the end of the long ‘to do list.’ Soon, he’ll be moving slower. So slowly, perhaps, that the complicated, conflicting stuff about his dad and their relationship will rise up. David is smart, compassionate, gritty, and is loved by a good woman. I am certain he can handle whatever awaits in his quiet hours. But he’s such a wonderful person, I find myself hoping that very few demons await him.
My hope is that he’ll befriend his dad’s spirit. That the pieces of his life–the way he grills a steak or fixes a car–that they bring his father’s spirit back like a warm, fuzzy blanket. I don’t know how easy it will be or how long it will take, but I am certain it is possible. I want both David and his father to have peace.
The world is just better when simple things like pringles, coffee, and sunrises are imbued with love from the other side.